Sorry it’s been so long. I’ve been working on moving over to a Wordpress blog. I had Typo before and the amount of spam I got was so tremendous so it made me just want to ignore the blog because I didn’t feel like sifting through the spam to see comments. But, now I’m back and I expect to be writing often.
No longer am I a programmer. Wait, let me back up… I am a programmer but my task list is about 60/40 now. 60% of the time I’m doing non-programming tasks like project management, consulting, client interaction and planning. Oh shit, I woke up one day and became a CEO who actually spends most of his time being a CEO. Now, when my partner left I was doing mostly programming still because my partner couldn’t take on that many projects. But since figuring out the best source of labor and expanding my business network I have been able to delegate most of the programming to the programmers, manage the projects and plan for the budgets. Mostly, I’m a one man show. No employees except my receptionist and myself. All contractors besides that. I’m very satisfied with that arrangement. Contractors are more service minded than salaried employees in my opinion.
I’m actually talking to the owner of another company about helping run their company out of their current slump. It’s a web development firm here in Nashville that’s been around since the late 90’s. It’s just been run poorly for that long. I’m actually surprised they have the quality of the client base they currently have with the amount of problems they have but nonetheless it’s a great opportunity and I’d love to turn things around for them. So, I may be taking on that massive task.
Since I have gotten more busy I’ve learned that keeping weekly list of tasks is not enough. Marking off tasks one a day is too slow and just not motivational enough. So, now I keep a daily list of tasks as well as a weekly list of tasks. I mark off tasks as I get done with them and it helps motivate me to move quickly through the day. Then, if I have time at the end of the task list I may knock a couple off the next day’s list or take the rest of the day off. One of the cool tools I’ve been using for task management is a todo list at http://www.toodledo.com. It allows you to set long, medium and short term goals. It also allows you to organize tasks in a categorized fashion. It’s just a great tool. It integrates with google calendar as well.
I’ve really got disgusted with a lot of music coming out of the mainstream but I love music with a deep passion. If I weren’t a programmer I would probably be a writer and one of the things I would love to write would be songs and poetry. I write some now of course, but it’s not my profession. Anyways, so I started a web development contract with a company that works a lot with musicians and they mentioned this website CDBaby.com which is where independent artists put out original music for sale.
So, on this site you can preview and browse all the music on the site. And they also allow the musicians to sell their music on itunes and other digital music platforms. So, I can browse music, comment on music, it tells me what each band/artist style is comparable to in the mainstream and then I can buy and download either through their site or through itunes on my iphone. It’s really cool and there’s a lot of good music out there that never sees the light of the music industry’s powerful pen. Totally worth a look.
When the iPhone came out I really did want it. But I was curious if it was all hype and so I waited and the price dropped. I thought “cool, I’ll buy it next check I get”. Sure enough, a check came and I decided it was time for new tools & equipment. I put aside a certain amount of money for new tools each month and I had enough. New tools increase efficiency and allow me to do more. The iPhone was a great investment for many reasons. More importantly, because I love the iPhone so much my next computer will probably be a Mac Pro Desktop.
So, why was it a good investment? Well, it allows me to sync calendars and contacts through itunes. I can store all kinds of valuable map information. I have enough space to store all kinds of video, audio, and pictures. Come on, who can say “I’ve got the video of my first born son’s birth right here on my phone!”… me. I can buy music right on the phone. It hooks to wi-fi where I can surf the internet and full speed. The touch screen navigation is amazing. I love the keyboard. Texting in the old fashion never caught on well with me so I wasn’t used to it. The iphone is worth the cash. There’s a bunch of other features. Plus, with apple putting out a software developers kit for programmers to start building apps for it in February I can’t wait to see what other apps I can have at my finger tips.
Apple is an awesome company, even if they are closed source at least they listen to their customers and provide quality products. Microsoft needs to take a lesson from Apple’s success.
I really don’t want to do a rant on things but I really feel like doing it. Here’s the thing about buying CDs. I ‘evaluate’ music by going and downloading it. I’m not saying I do this illegally but I do go and download music. Now, sometimes I do this before the release date actually hits and sometimes I do it afterwards. Most of the music I get is garbage and I don’t go buy it from the store. However, if I support the artist and love their album I will go buy the album as soon as it hits stores. I don’t feel that I buy less music because of the digital age. I just have become very picky about the music I buy. If your album sucks and only one song on it is good don’t expect me to go buy your album. I think what the RIAA is really pissed about is that the digital age has made it harder pull the wool over people’s eyes any more and make them buy crappy albums by having one hit single.
Their waving their fist saying “Damn you! Educated consumer! We’ll sue!”. Like it’s going to stop people from downloading music. All people will do is get more clever and technology will get better to make them less able to protect their garbage. You want money? Provide a good product at a reasonable price and the American consumer will buy it. (Or have an overwhelmingly strong marketing department… *wink* *wink* Microsoft).
I’ve been told that most great advances have been out of necessity. I guess my next advancement is no different. I have truly a ton of information and tasks to do and almost no help. It will be my own personal evolutionary leap to take myself and my company to the next level with the resources I have and my own ingenuity. I believe that this is probably the quickest way to advance but also the most painful. Many people back off and give up when they are up against so much pressures. It’s when people step up and take the full force of a challenge that they become the next strongest person they can be. It’s when people back off and give up when they regress or become stagnant.
I’m sure this philosophy has made those who care about me think I’m constantly putting too much stress on myself and that eventually I will break. On the contrary, eventually I will find a way to figure out the problems, advance and learn to defer the stress. I’ve had friends who say I approach things very non-emotional and that it gives me a very inhuman quality. I’ve tried to press on to others that getting emotional doesn’t solve problems. It usually creates problems. If I feel something, I accept that feeling and understand that most negative outcomes are things that I could have prevented. If I feel negative I accept that the path I chose lead me to that negative feeling and take responsibility for that. This way, I’m always in control. I can never be a victim to any one or any external thing. I feel I’ve probably went over this in my blog before but I like talking about it because I see so many others fretting over their individual issues and feeling victimized. It bothers me because I see their pain is self-inflicted and no matter what I say they will continue to feel like they do and make it more difficult for themselves to move past issues. I don’t like seeing others in pain when I know they can prevent it as most people don’t.
Generally, I trust everyone till they give me evidence that they cannot be trusted. A lot of people say ‘trust no one’ and make people earn your trust. But, I make people earn my mistrust. I have a problem with ‘trust no one’ because it gives the impression that most people are bad and out to get you. If you believe that way I think you draw those types of people to you. Everyone should be innocent till proven guilty. Even when people break my trust I tend to look at their circumstances closely. You can only expect a person to act a certain way given their circumstances don’t change drastically. Given the wrong circumstances even a good man can do evil things. There are no evil people but evil actions are widespread. You’re good could be my evil and my evil could be your good. Life is relative that way.
I do have a certain level of assumptions that the people I associate with will act a certain way. However, I don’t expect those people to always act like that and when they don’t act the way I assume they will I closely look at their circumstances and ask myself “Would I act that way given those circumstances were upon me?”. If the answer is ‘yes’ or ‘maybe’ then I’m understanding but I may tell them I am displeased. However, if the answer is ‘no’ I will let them know I wouldn’t act like that towards them and don’t want them to act like that towards me. I believe this way gives me more empathy and allows me to be very diplomatic. It’s problematic to have solid expectations of people because if you know them long enough they will let you down and you will find yourself very disappointed. If you act on that disappointment without thinking about being in that person’s place then you could lose some very good friends, allies and supporters.
It can be difficult to have faith that most people are actually kind hearted and well intentioned but I’ve seen for the most part that is true. Others will help you if you are willing to help them without question. Have a little faith and a positive outlook and you will draw others in your life that have faith in you and have that same positive outlook. If you are always looking for what you can get out of people then people will do the same to you and you will always come up hungry, without fulfillment and short handed.
Most of us learn at a very early age that square pegs do not fit in to round holes. Why then, Do many of us attempt to actually do this later in life? It may be because we have a deep desire to change the way things are and/or that we like a challenge. Though I believe strongly in change for myself and hope that others change regularly many people do not actually change. They are much like pegs. They find their form and shape when they go through their youth and feel they are done changing after that or that because they went to X school and paid X amount and get their piece of paper and they are then done with the majority of their learning. Some people are suited for certain things and not others because of their background experiences and lifestyle. To change would send their life in to turmoil and most people resist change anyway so they don't change or go outside of their box.
If it helps, I consider myself a peg as well. I just don't consider my form or shape set in stone. I'm good at a lot of things and not so good at some other things. I promote my good attributes and work quietly on my attributes that don't serve me so well. I don't deny my bad attributes and I listen to all, including my enemies. If all my enemies are saying something bad about me I want to look at that bad thing and see if their is any truth to it and if then I can change it to be something more positive. So, some pegs are stone (hard to change shape, solid, rigid), some are wood (hard, but can easily be chipped or cut to a new shape), some are clay (easily pliable but can become as hard as stone) and lastly some rare folks are not pegs at all but fluid (easily moving and changing without ever obstructing). I'm some where between wood and clay depending on the day and my mood. Most of the time I'm clay. But I always work to be somewhere between fluid and clay. Some folks are happy being stone but most would be happier if they learned another way.
I enjoy working with clay cause it's pliable and will hold shape when I need it to. However, I tend to try to change wood or stone to clay quite often and that is a difficult thing to do. I should really just go looking for clay but it's in my nature to change things, work towards perfection and help all those in the world who are rigid and stuck. Can you change your inate nature? Yes, of course, but the feeling of changing your nature is much like removing a band-aid. It's painful if the area is hairy, unless you remove it very quickly it's more painful and afterwards you will be glad it's no longer on. I've done this with ease before but this seems to be a struggle for me that I choose to keep doing. Notice, I am not a victim of this problem I have but I am mindfully choosing to change stone or wood to clay from time to time. Sometimes I do change stone to clay or at least to wood but most of the time I waste time, energy and spin my proverbial wheels in the sand. Is it worth the rare time that I do change things or people? I am pretty sure it is and that's why I haven't changed the fact I do this. Change is a wonderous thing and it's great to see people benefit from it. However, at this time in my life I want more folks I don't feel the need to mold or help in my life but are on the same level of development as I am and can handle most difficult situations with grace and ease.
Sometimes people get lost in the world they create for themselves. Their environment becomes stagnant and the air becomes weak around them. What I mean is people get stale and sick of their own existance wihtout even knowing it's hit them. I believe the body will reject this by creating depression, anxiety and making a person go through all shades of difficulty and stress. I really feel that these things like anxiety and depression are ways that the body reflects it's distaste for our current situation and a way of letting us know we are living unhealthy. I actually have battled with anxiety disorder for some time. My father has anxiety and my mother has depression. So, I find myself creating all kinds of mental stress and situations for myself. But, without pills, (which I believe control the syptom and don't cure the problem) I have managed to overcome these things by listening to my body and my mind.
I change things up when I undergo these types of symptoms. I look at my life and how I could make it better, reduce stress and create peace. So, I tend to look inward instead of outward for a solution to these problems. A lot of people are happy on the drugs that they give you for depression or anxiety but I just don't want to become addicted at such an early age and I have a hard time believing that so many people are afflicted by what is considered a disease. I think the diseases are complaicancy, boredom, various addictions and stress. The result is a body and mind that cry out for attention in the form of anxiety and depression. The normal response is "Doctor, give me something for this…" when I believe it should be "What am I doing that creates this feeling for me?". The second question can have difficult answers and the first question, the one that most people ask, has a much more simple answer. Since I walked this path and chose question number two I can tell you it is a longer and more difficult path but a much more rewarding path. You can learn a lot about yourself traveling that path. My anxiety attacks were pretty bad. I went to the hospital a couple times and they hooked me up to machines to attempt to figure out what was wrong with me. They eventually chalked it up to anxiety disorder after running all the tests they could think of. I took a long, hard look at myself and had to quit smoking, start working out and change my outlook on life to a more positive one. Not only that but I had to make drastic lifestyle changes… I had to switch it up.
I realized my job was very stressful, my health was getting worse and general stress about things that weren't important were weakening my spirit. It took me about 2 months before I was able to get a plan in place to quit my job at the time, put a work out plan in action, eat a bit better and treat myself like I cared about and loved me. I was satisfied because I know many people just continue on that path, they don't change anything and they end up sad people who are productive members of society but lose their soul and forget what makes them unique.
Change is beautiful. The universe is full of change. It is the only constant. It's a dynamic symphony of instruments that we are all a part of. But, in it's time an instrument will have many notes and play many songs and without those different notes and songs it would not be an instrument at all but just background noise. Live life full.
I have so many things to do today and all I can think about is how it's 72 degrees out and it's a Saturday. Also, I think about how I don't hang out much with my girlfriend or son. So, as you can see, my mind wanders off in to the distant perfectly temperate abyss. Really, I tend to be my own worst enemy at times like this. I'm so close to a launching this website and 2 proposals away from securing two new clients. Yet, I really have a hard time lifting a finger to do anything today that is work related.
I will of course finish these things by tomorrow night but right now I find myself looking outside at the daylight whithering away and thinking to myself "What did i have going on again and who's responsibility is that?". I'm always under a lot of pressure and days like this where my mind shifts to everything but work is what keeps me sane but also what keeps me from being the richest man on Earth. Go figure.. I'll get past it one day.
Will Bridges is the author of this blog, the CEO of BluePaw Software, a father, a programmer of over 9 years and the poet behind Evolution Of A Poet.
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